Getting me down...

I'm closing in on the end of my lease in about a month and a half, and i have NO idea what I'm doing next. then I'll seriously have like nothing... no job, no boyfriend, no apartment... nothing. so i thought "well this would be the perfect time to pack up and go". but there's so much more than just saying "oh...I'm gonna leave.". i can't even begin to imagine how hard it would be to pick up and leave your friends and family and move 5 hours away where you know NO ONE! on top of just the normal fear I'm not a very independent person at all. my dream is to live in Nashville and be able to pursue my songwriting career. but here i am, 21 with nothing to show and i have this desire to do big things and accomplish all kinds of goals...but no motivation what so ever! i'm scared to death that i'm kinda stuck and i don't know how to break out. i'm in this huge rut and feel like i just keeping digging myself in deeper. i used to be a good worker, motivated, and optimistic. but the longer things stay the way they are the more i feel like i'll never be anything more. if there was a job for excuse making, i would be the CEO of that company. i used to take pride in my ability to make up a lie or excuse on the spot...but then i used my "powers" for good, not for evil :) Now i lie and make up excuses so i don't look bad to my friends and family and even to myself. how pathetic is that? so i'm gonna go to bed now, before i let this get em anymore down.

LOVE!!

Forgot...

Real quick on Movies:

Saw PENELOPE the other day- LOVED it, so cute! Christina Ricci is AWESOME! it's kinda whimsical so don't expect anything too realistic!
The Other Boleyn girl was really great too!

Watched WAITRESS- Loved that movie too! i actually went and bought it after seeing it! Keri Russel rocks and the movie was a lot more than i expected!

ENCHANTED comes out on DVD today and I can't wait to buy it! i loved that movie, plus is has Patrick Dempsey in it HOT! I also can't wait for PS I LOVE YOU, MAD MONEY, and JUNO!

Rented a bunch of movies i still need to watch-
Across the Universe, Martian Child, Dan in Real Life, and gone baby gone.
let ya know how they turn out!

Can't wait for -
Sex & the City, Sisterhood of the traveling pants 2 & Stop loss

Happy St. Pattys & I'm Sick...

I was so so looking forward to St Patricks day, got an AWESOME green shirt (shake your shamrocks), painted nails green, had plans to get drunk...i had it ALL. Yet, as fate would have it... i am sick! Boooo! I KNEW on Friday i was gonna be sick soon...then Saturday i slept all day and knew that was a for sure sign that illness was creepin' up on me! So now I'm full blown sick. stuffy/runny nose, cough, sneeze, fever. plus it's all rainy and cold this week which only makes things worst! i REALLY HAVE to get better soon! Job searching is now at a complete halt, i have to start getting ready to move out in may, i still need to do my taxes, i haven't been by to visit my dog Bo in a month, i need to pay my student loans...argh! so much to do and all i can think about is taking a steamy hot shower and planning a cruise! I'm well aware of my laziness and irresponsibility, which is something i REALLY want to change. but how do you change? you just do right... well how to i break my habits and start new ones and stick with it? i want a change, i want things more streamlined and i want to feel/be more of an adult.

Being sick BLOWS!

LOVE!!

8 Second Saloon...

Went and saw Chris Cagle tonight....AMAZING! i think he's great anyway, but I'd kinda forgot how great he is! i saw a couple of years ago and i can't believe i forgot how great a show he puts on. not only is he really energetic and sounds great, but hes super funny! he joked with the crowd about his failed marriages and about trying to pick up women, then during Country by The Grace of God some drunk guy jumped up on the stage and Chris just started singing with him... he gave him his hat and the mic while he went around and signed autographs... the entire place was crackin up! you can tell he's a good guy, i hope this time around he gets the success he deserves!

so that's 2 concerts this week... i know I'm giving my self inner ear damage, think I'll lay off for a while! :) at least a couple of weeks!

LOVE!!

Every Rose Has it's Thorn...

So the concert was Monday night and let em tell ya..the place was hoppin'! And you should have seen some of the people there...it was AWESOME! these girls (and guys) meant bussines...some of them walked straight out of a Poison video! The place had awesome energy and was packed to the gills. Big John came out first to get us all pumped (i got to see him before the show out by the merch. table, he had a group of girls with him and was saying "hurry before they start taking pictures"..lol). i will say they call him BIG john for a reason... the boy is HUGE! When the moment finally arrived it was everything i was hoping it would be! Suddenly i was thrown into 1987, the hair was high and the music was rockin! the twangs from the electric guitars were impecable! not only did he play and the Bret Michaels Band rock the poison hits, but he sang Knockin On Heavens Doors, Sweet Home Alabama, Your mama don't dance... so many! it was great! so yea...it was fun!! i love concerts in general....but rock concerts are always the best. theres always a TON of energy and people get up and dance and scream... it's really a huge party! anywho... it's 4am and i ought to be in bed! blog later!

LOVE!!

PS: i so slipped and fell down my friends stairs tonight (thnk god i only hit 2) and now my back feels like i was hit with a 2X4! OUCH!!! we'll see how it looks tomrrow!

Brett

Create Your Own Polaroid

Weekend...

Just got home from the movie a bit ago and wanted to post my weekend! i went to the casino on Saturday night and we had a lot of fun (except for the bitch bartender at the bar we went to). i stayed up way too late (5am) and we had to head back at 8am! so i was REALLY tired, but i got McDonald's breakfast so it was all good! i got home around 11am and slept till almost 4! ha ha! i got to go see Fools Gold tonight too. it was really cute, i LOVE those two together! I'm REALLY excited for tomorrow... BRET MICHAELS concert! me and the girls are so gonna rock it out! I'll be sure to post a picture on here. i may write more later...but George Lopez is on now and I'm distracted!

LOVE!!

My American Idol...

Real quick i wanted to talk about American idol. My fav girls are Amanda, Kristy Lee and Brooke. Amanda won't win, but her attitude and voice are exactly what idol needed... she'll go far without the win. Kristy Lee probably doesn't have much of a shot either but she has a great presence and an awesome voice. I think Brooke has one of the best shots for the girls because she's also unique and original. she never does bad and she's true to who she is. for the guys David A. is the big breakout from the show! but he's not one of my favs. believe me i know he is AMAZING, but i can't see him singing much music i would be into. My favs are Michael Johns, David Cook and Robbie Carrico. obviously Robbie already got voted off... which i think was pretty unfair. colton, Danny, Luke and chikeze all should have gone home before him...oh well. between Michael and and David c, David is my fav... but they're both way awesome (and Michael has that hot Australian thing going on... David's just HOT!). but we all know neither of them will win either. if a guy win it'll be David a. if David a. doesn't win... I'll be very surprised. he's kind of like the talented cute sanjaya. he's freaking adorable, has an AMAZING voice, he's all of like what...16. he will win, and not that he doesn't deserve, he may very well... but contestants like him and sanjay get so much hype around them that other contestants may not get.... seems kind of unfair. oh well.. boy can definitely sAng!

LOVE!!

I Love You Dr. Green...

I'm so excited about this weekend. Tomorrow i get to go spend the night with some of my best girls at a casino around here. i love casinos! not so much for the gambling... but for the energy. i spent 4 days in Vegas this past July and i loved it! it's one of my friends birthdays, so we're going to par-tay! This whole week is pretty cool! Monday I'm going to see Bret Michael's in concert (YES! lol) then Thursday i get to have lunch with two of my girlie's i hardly ever see, Friday i see Chris Cagle in concert, and Saturday is my little nephews first birthday! it's gonna be busy but oodles of fun! right now I'm watching montel. i love him, i can't help it! i love Dr. Phil and Oprah too! montel is talking about doing good deeds for others. i don't know about you...but i could probably do good deeds for others. I'm really good about giving people gifts, i LOVE giving people really good gifts... it's like a high for me. and they don't have to be super expensive gifts either. i love the surprise kind of gifts, ones that are kind of an inside joke between you and the other person! i just love seeing peoples reactions. but there's a big difference between giving and doing good deeds. i wish i was the kind of person who gave more with out expectations. while i love giving gifts, it does seem kind of selfish that my high comes from their response to my gift. Dr. Green (Anthony Edwards) from ER was on the show talking about this organization he works with that donates old running shoes to people in Africa. It just so happens i bought a new pair of tennis shoes yesterday...maybe i could donate my old ones. i DO LOVE Dr. green (i pretty much quit watching ER when they killed him of)! I'll do it...and you can do it too! the website is http://shoe4africa.org/. if you want to ship some old shoes it MUST be by airmail (UPS is the cheapest) the address is -

Shoe 4 Africac/o Monicah KiplagatPO Box 6943Eldoret, Kenya

another GREAT organization is Pawsitivly Famous! A great organization that donates money to the humane society of east Texas. their website is

http://www.runningforacause.com/pawsitivelyfamous/index.html

so do a good deed, ship your shoes, and we'll all be a little better off!


LOVE!!

Anyone Notice...

I'm in the middle of doing laundry and thought i would post a blog real quick. i have nothing special to say just that it surprises me sometimes how oblivious people can be. maybe you have a friend or a family member who has a really strong really annoying personality trait. maybe they're overly needy, or gossip a lot, or really selfish.... you know those people. those people who don't just exhibit a trait but they take it all the way to the extreme like they're trying to be the king of ego's or the princess of dishonesty. i know those people. we all exhibit bad characteristics, but there are just some people who take it way too far. and those are the people who are the most oblivious to their downfalls. i know (most the time) when I'm being an ass or lazy or whatever... but the the people who are overly lazy, selfish, needy (ect.)... never acknowledge it. that's really annoying to me... thought i might point that out.

LOVE!!

Fly Away...

If I had written a Sugarland song it would be one of two songs either STAY or FLY AWAY. This song perfectly describes everything i've ever thought or felt about my life. The first time i heard this sond i was like WHOA! i love everything about this song! it's the perfect "i love you, but i gotta get the hell outta here and live MY life" kinda song! i just can't tell ya how much i love it! Hope yoiu enjoy it too!

"if you never jump you'll never know if you can fly!"
-Miranda Lambert

LOVE!!

Why am I Lazy...

Why can't i follow through with things? ok... maybe i know why i can't, because i never have. seriously though, what in my DNA or upbringing made me a quitter? i hate it. i try to make myself stick things out but i just can't seem to do it. i'm pretty good with keeping jobs, but anything else (school, diets...) i just quit! anytime something gets hard or confusing i either quit or just let it run it's corse and figure shit'll buff. and it's stupid crap too! like i HATE cleaning but instead of cleaning up my mess right when i make it i let my apartment get sooo messy that i don't even want to be there. then it's so far gone by then i just ignore it. the same i ignore the broken gas gauge in my truck, the fact that my rent is late, doing my taxes, and visiting Bo. i am seriously aware of how much of a procastenator i am...and i seriously hate it. when i accomplish something it's the best feeling to me. i love the satisfaction of setting a goal and meeting it, it makes me feel organized and in control. so question... if i like that feeling so much why am i SO damn lazy? and how do you fix lazy? it's easy to just tell yourself your gonna do it...but that seldom works because i obviously have NO will power. ummm... more pondering must be done!

CMA Fest 2008...

Real quick-

SOOOOOOOOO excited, i just saw the list for the first round of artists for the Cma Fest! I bought my tickets last summer and have been waiting forever for them to start naming names! incase you don't know what the CMA Fest is it's basically a HUGE four day concert in Nashville! theres all kinds of stages and artists and other things to do pretty much 24.7! this is my first time but being the music lover i am...i KNOW i'll have a blast! anyway, i was excited and wanted to share! The list is on the left hand side of the page at the bottom, i'll keep it up to date as i learn more! If your interested in the CMA Fest visit http://cmafest.com/2008!


LOVE!!

Get Off Your Ass and Do Something Day...

SO in honor of my own holiday today, which i randomly made up and called Get Off Your Ass and Do Something Day, i would like to share some of the things I did. I taught myself to knit (kinda...i just started tonight, but i think i like it), I picked up my guitar and taught myself a NEW song (Home-Blake Shelton), exercised with Holly, and put together my "niece" (my sisters boyfriends little girl) Easter basket. I'm thinking of turning this day into a week, or a month...or a whole new lifestyle! i didn't accomplish anything super exciting, but i did accomplish something. my goal tomorrow is to go visit my dog Bo, she lives out on my uncles farm right now. right now i'm watching george lopez, and knowing i need to clean. pest control is coming on wednesday and i hate it when they come by and my apartment is messy. ANYWAY, tomorrow celebrate your own holiday! i think i'll make tomorrow... Clean Your Apartment & Get A Pedicure Day!

LOVE!!!

PS: the icon is random...but cute! Love the song!

Home...

I'm so excited that i figured out how to add music on here (http://imeem.com)! I LOVE music and really wanted to show that on my page! The song i chose for now is "Home" by Blake Shelton, with Miranda Lambert in the background. I believe it's originally a Michael Buble song. I picked this song because I love Blake and especially MIRANDA! I think the song has a great melody and both sound incredible. I'm sure i'll change the song often... sometimes i'll say why...sometimes not. But i'm so excited to share the music i love on here!

LOVE!!

God Reads Blogs...

So I'm convinced that God reads blogs! Ha ha ha! Today was the most beautiful day this year! It was 60 degrees all day, the sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, and just the lightest breeze! It was the perfect day to drive around with the windows down and blast your favorite CD (Miranda Lambert Crazy-Ex Girlfriend)! It was such a pretty pretty day! That is until I came home to a messy messy apartment! but I'm just going to keep my smile on and remember the wonderful EARLY spring weather and clean!

(PS: If your reading this... I could use a JOB!) :)

LOVE!!

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time...

Sometime before Christmas my step-father was arrested for an OWI. He's a truck driver, he was in his 18-wheeler when he was pulled over. let me say this first, i think it is a huge irresponsibility to drink and drive and it takes a great amount of arrogance and selfishness to put others life's in danger because you decided to have a couple drinks before getting into your car. But to have those drinks and then get in a semi truck is perhaps the dumbest thing I've ever heard! my first step dad lost his leg because he was drinking and driving (see the pattern?) and while i felt it was unfortunate, he was a grown man who mad a terrible decision... one that almost killed him. Since my current step-fathers arrest he has been unemployed and been on and off the wagon a couple of times. in the last 2 and a half weeks he has been arrested twice. once on a drunk and disorderly charge and another on public intoxication (notice another patter?) he's been to court for both of the later charges and is now spending time in a "recovery house". i don't really think that this is gonna make a huge difference, in fact i think it's a waste of money. he still has to go to court for his OWI charge. for this charge he could actually do time in jail, which i be live he should. so far it seems like he's gotten off pretty easily. he's kinda just coating through this whole thing. I'm not trying be cold hearted, because i do love my step dad very much. but i have no sympathy for someone who endangers not only his life and the lives of others, but my families financial stability (lawyer, hospital, or god forbid funeral bills) and our emotional well being. I'm 21 years old and i do drink, though not often because of my families history with alcohol abuse, and i can truthfully say I've never drank and drove. i lost a friend in high school who made this mistake and it's sad that something that should come as just common knowledge leads to such fatal outcomes. i'm kind of known as the anti-drink and drive in my circle. i get calls all the time at 3 and 4am to pick up drunk friends, and yea it's a little annoying and sometimes i don't want to answer the phone, but i think i'm just so glad they made the choice to call someone else than to try and drive themselves home, that i just can't say no. sounds kind of dorky right...lol.. well i'd rather be a little dorky than ever loose another friend.

BTW... i AM in a good mood today, which is why i waited until today to write this all out. imagine how depressing it would have been if i were in a bad mood!!

:D

LOVE!!

Needing more sunshine...

Finally some sunny weather. It's still cold, and there's still clouds in the sky, but for the first time in a while i've actually gotten to break out the sunglasses! i thrive on sunlight... i'm one of those people who NEED sun. i love summer, and when you live in the midwest (especially southern indiana) the weather is pretty unprdictable. so ANYTIME i get even just a 1/2 hour of sunshine in the winter it's enough to pump me up for at least the day. So needless to say i'm in a pretty good mood today.